10 Things I’ve Learned in College

As I am closing out my senior year in college with only 2 months to spare, I am feeling an overwhelming juxtaposition of despair and anguish and happiness. I am going to miss the familiar routine of waking up with 10 minutes to spare to get my ass to class, but I am not going to miss the all too familiar noises of extra-loud talking and thuds of falling objects that my roommates make as they come in a 5am drunk off their own asses while I had the goal of trying to wake up more than 10 minutes before class the next morning (Has yet to work. Will update in May). Yes, I will also miss the fact that I could start drinking at 3pm with no one judging me, but I will not miss the stress of all-nighters; studying for tests that even a month straight of studying couldn’t get me an A on. Oh well, right?
But, as my tenure comes to a close, I can say with firm satisfaction that I am now able to list at least 10 things that I have learned in college that does not include class information, which I am unable to have retained much if any. Sorry, professors. If I had known these before hand, my college experience may have taken a different route and I may (or may not have) ended up with a 4.0. Okay, who am I kidding, there is no way that would of happened. Nevertheless, take these lessons to heart, preach them like you would the bible, and your college experience will be as good if not way better than mine one.

1. This may or may not be the most important of these lessons, but remember to call your parents. Staying close to my family has been one of the most pivotal things that got me through these past 4 years. When I needed help the most, they were there to guide me, lend me some advice, not to mention maybe some money. (****do not depend on your parents to give you money all of the time, but if you are always nice to them, they may help you out when you really need it***)
2. You DO NOT need a bunch of different friends from a bunch of different groups. This is one thing that I did when I was a freshman and it was hard to keep up with…basically exhausting. Plus, remember that all those people- most aren’t going to be your besties in 4 years. A lot will transfer away, a lot will drop out, some you won’t even know what happened to them…but, a rare few will stay in your life and those are the people that will be there at your wedding watching you walk down the aisle.
3. GO TO CLASS. I am defiantly not going to give you the whole lecture how you’re paying for it so you don’t need to be wasting your money, but you WILL usually miss important things, and if you’re type A like me that stresses you out, so just X that whole problem and just go. Yeah, it may be 80 degrees and sunny and yeah, you may have a pool at your disposal and some cold drinks in your fridge, but you’ll have all weekend to be a lazy bum, so just suck it up and go.
4. Become responsible for paying for at least one thing. And by this I do not mean get pregnant and become responsible for a child. Please, dear lord, do not do that. Resist teenage/college pregnancy at all costs. You really wanna make your life a game of loans? do that. if not, do something smaller like asking your parents to let you pay your part of the phone bill or paying your own rent from your loan money, something like that. Or do like me and get a dog (Okay don’t do that, your parents might kill you like mine did) Getting a puppy may be the only 100% effective birth control. Damn, I hate puppies. Love my dog. Hate puppies.
5. Get a hobby! I cannot tell you the number of times I have sighed in anguish looking at my roommates sitting on the couch watching the next season of Breaking Bad for the 6th hour while they eat doritos and drink coke. Get outside. Join an intramural sport. Go to the gym. Join a club/honor society/ect. Do something that will get your ass off the couch and out into the world. People seem to take life for granted here at college, we spend too many days doing nothing and not enough days exploring and living vicariously. Just do something. Trust me, you’ll be better off for it and Netflix will always be there.
6. Don’t be afraid to do things alone. College is the time to embark on independence. So why is it we girls still need someone to go to the bathroom with us??? This I will never understand. I also do not want someone watching me pee. That is ‘wtf weird’ to me, but maybe that’s just me, maybe I’m weird, who knows. But what I do know is that if you go to eat lunch by yourself, no ones gonna judge you and talk shit about you if you’re sitting in a booth by yourself. Noones gonna be like “Oh my god look at that weird girl sitting there with her Chickfila all alone and shit” No.
7. Don’t be too uptight where you forget to have fun. This has been one of my biggest problems, struggling between ‘prick who doesn’t do anything but study’ and ‘that bitch I met at the bars’. Study, make good grades, focus on school, but when you have downtime, don’t be afraid to raise a little hell and drink some boxed wine. (Classy, only a little trashy)
8. Please, for the love of God, do not eat fast food for every meal. This speaks for itself. Unless you want your ass to speak for itself. And I’m saying that in the nicest way possible. Don’t forget when you get to be in your 20’s your metabolism slows down tremendously. You cannot eat a package of Zebra Cakes in one sitting like you used to when you were 15. Moderation is KEY! (I still love those beautiful striped pieces of heaven)  Learn to cook, it’s fun and you don’t feel like a huge wad of shit after eating it…well usually, unless you’re a shitty cook. Then, I guess you just suck right? LOL jk.
9. Be an organized and CLEAN person to the best of your ability. I cannot stress this enough. Most likely you will have roommates and they will hate you forever x100 if you are dirty and gross. But if you are your roommates are all dirty and gross, more power to you! But I hope you don’t die from black mold or e. coli. Organization of school stuff is also key because it’ll prevent you from missing assignments and forgetting stuff. Get an agenda!!! Love me some agendas. They seemed so boring and nerdy in high school, didn’t they?
10. Lastly, remember why you are there. You are in college to get a degree, no matter how worthless that piece of paper really is in retrospect. Do what you came to do, and try to get out as soon as possible. If it takes you a little longer and you become a super-super-duper senior, thats GREAT! As long as you are actively trying to achieve your goal of getting that diploma rather than anticipating how fun the bars will be in your 7th year of college. (It will not be fun being at a bar with 18 year olds…unless your a cougar I guess that’s cool……) Being in classes with these kids will also not be fun. One of my favorite questions I’ve heard from a freshman was “What’s a democrat?” Oh, kids these days.


2 thoughts on “10 Things I’ve Learned in College

    1. Hi! This is actually a wordpress theme. I just change the colors and background images to make everything flow better. I actually do create websites though, through dreamweaver. If you want tips let me know.


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